Futurama Porn Story: Wedding and a Honeymoon – Chapter 1

I don’t own the show Futurama, because if I did, it would still be more successful than the Critic

*Jay Sherman: Excuse me? Nothing could ever top my show, because everything else stinks.

Producer: Mr. Sherman? You’re on in three.

Jay: Oh, well, don’t criticize me, because you don’t get paid for it… that I may have to sue for.

You have my contact information.*

as I was saying, it would still be a very good show, almost as good as Homer with his donuts.

Anyway, I don’t own the show, any rights to go with it…blah… Please don’t sue me because I have no money anyway. At least, no more than two cents to speak of.

“_” : speaking

‘_’ : thinking

_ : off the wall crap

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PROLOGUE

‘I don’t wanna get up,’ Fry thinks to himself as he looks over at his alarm clock. ‘Last night was just too perfect… I don’t ever want to forget what happened.’

Bender walks into the room, notices the two forms entwined on the bed, does a check of his memory banks, grins evilly, and turns around and begins whistling. He does another once over, catches Fry’s eyes, and winks. The author will point out here that that isn’t really a Bender-like thing to do, but this is my fic, so :p

Fry decides that she deserves a little more sleep, so he turns off the alarm. He notices Bender’s wink, and mouths “Tell them we can’t come.”

Bender frowns, and knows he should do something here… but knows that he would only be interfering with her sleep. He whispers “I’ll tell them, Fry, but you still know what you need to do.”

Fry nods, and begins to think about what had happened.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1

Fry still felt awkward in his monkey-suit. Even though he had plenty of time to prepare for this day, he still had butterflies in his stomach. He looked around his apartment, noticed the reminiscent filth… and knew he had to grow up and clean up the Slurm.

He changed back out of his tux and began to gasp! clean up the place. He walked over to his CD player and put on his Sir Mix-alot. He began to dance to the tune of Big Butts, and he liked it that way… it helped him forget what was coming.

He didn’t much care for the rest of the CD, so he had that song on repeat. He probably listened to it about fifteen times before he really started to make progress at all. Then he knew he’d have to switch discs. Seeing nothing else, he popped in his signed Beastie Boys disc and really began to clean up a storm.

When he finished cleaning, he looked around the room. It seemed immaculate. He knew he’d better get dressed and going, lest he be late to his own wedding. He still couldn’t believe today was the day.

Fry got into his tux, looked again around his room to admire his handiwork. He knocked on Bender’s closet before leaving, but Bender had long since left. He thought about going straight to Planet Express.

The place had never before been so… calm. Everyone was dressed in their finest, except maybe Zoidberg, but being unfamiliar with weddings he could be forgiven. Bender looked like he just sprayed on his tux, but Fry still smiled at him nonetheless. After all, if not for Bender, today wouldn’t be possible.

Leela was in a beautiful bridesmaids dress, and Fry still wished he could’ve had her… but he knew he couldn’t. Amy wasn’t in the room at all, which was good, considering the bad luck inherent in seeing the bride’s dress before marriage.

Hermes was absent as well, probably talking to his wife about the ceremony he would be conducting. Even Prof. Farnsworth was decked out to the 9’s, even if he was only wearing a new labcoat.

Fry knew that everyone he cared for was going to be there, and that helped to ease his tension. He walked over to Bender, and they had a little conversation.

“You know Fry, you really should’ve shelled out some more moolah for the wine list, but I’m still gonna be your best man.” Fry chuckled a little at that. “You know Bender, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to make me feel good.”

Bender gently patted Fry’s back. “Fry, I’m here for ya, ya dirty fleshbag. Just know, if I do take over the world, you and your bride will be spared.” To which Fry replied with a tear, “Thanks, man… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

They stopped talking and began to move towards the landing pad, which had been cleared out for the ceremony. Benches had been moved in, and cans of Slurm had been attached to the rear bumper of the shuttle.

He looked around the cavernous room, and noticed plenty of people that he knew from around town, and a few new faces, friends of the bride. He moved to stand on the pad, with Bender right beside him. “You still have the rings, right Bender?”

“What do I look like, a can of oil?” Bender opened his chest cavity and showed Fry the little pillow with the rings on it. “Maybe you’ll remember how much Bender can be trusted in the future.”

Hermes walked to stand in front of Fry and Bender, and all looked down the aisle as the Bridal March began. Amy walked in, and everybody’s jaw dropped, for she was wearing an elegant, off the shoulder flowing white dress, with gloves to the elbows. Fry was awed at how great Amy looked, and knew they’d have a great future ahead of them. Leela was carrying the train, and was of course, the sole bridesmaid.

Amy slowly made her way up the aisle, and at least turned once to the side and winked. Fry didn’t know if she had something in her eye or what, but didn’t stop the business.

Hermes opened his book and began to read. “Dearly beloved, mon. We be gathared here todahy to join Phillip J. Fry and–“

From the back of the room, a gentelman jumped up and shouted “Stop the ceremony, I love Amy, and want her back!” The whole crowd looked, and saw that it was Kipf, Zap Brannigan’s assistant. Kipf was dressed in a white tuxedo with glowing buttons.

Amy looked into Fry’s eyes, and said “I’m sorry, it’s true… I thought we could have something, you and I, but it doesn’t compare to what Kipf has done for me… goodbye, Fry.”

She hiked up her train and ran down the aisle to embrace Kipf. Fry didn’t know what to do… Hermes patted him on the back, and whispered into his ear. Fry nodded and looked deeply into Leela’s eye. He saw the unshed tears break like a wellspring, and ran over to embrace her. She jumped into his arms, and he carried her right out of the room, straight into his apartment.

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so, what’d you guys think?

I know, I know, it cycles back to the beginning, but I think it’s pretty good for my first shot at fanfiction.

Hope you enjoyed the surprise ending, and apologize if I mispelled Kipf’s name, but again, don’t feel like looking it up.

Please, I’m open for criticizm, so let me know what you thought.