Futurama Porn Story: Freaky Fry Day Chapter 26

Were all doomed,
we are! wailed Zoidberg.

Stay calm,
everyone! said Zapp when he finally saw the blockade of brains.
It hurts less to die when youre calm!

Its every man for
himself! exclaimed Bender, waving his extended arms. The
chicks are on their own!

The gloating voice of
the Master Brain reverberated through the ship: Theres no help
for you now. Prepare to be thunk out of existence!

Yet help did come, from
the most surprising of sources. The Fry clones, freed from their
collective stupor, picked up tools, blunt objects, or whatever they
could rip free from the consoles. The brains are our enemies!
cried one. They made us to be their slaves! yelled another.
Kill them all! exclaimed yet another.

Dozens of them leaped
over the railings and plunged downward, most landing on top of a
brain or another Fry, a few missing and falling to their deaths.
Strengthened by hatred, they clubbed, stabbed, and tore at the gray
flesh of the Brainspawn. The chaotic scene went on until the brains,
intimidated by the sheer number of their foes, flew away into the
dark recesses of the station.

The Raven crewmembers
breathed sighs of elation. All was quiet, except for a few Fry
clones who blindly pounded on the ships hull with their fists.

What do we do now?
wondered Leela. We cant blow up the Dumb Star, or all the
clones will die.

You make a valid
point, said Zapp. However, as you can all plainly see, their
race is doomed to eventual extinction one way or another.

Yeah, said the
real Fry. Seven million guys who cant get a date. What are
their chances?

Admiral N!gutu has
offered free military training and accommodations to the clones,
Kif reported. She wants to organize them into a special force to
deploy against the Brainspawn if they should ever return.

Ooh! Ooh! said
Bender. Lets call it The Big Red One!

Ive been told
that the President of Earth is organizing a ticker-tape parade in our
honor, Zapp told Kif. Sadly, Ill be unable to attend, so
youll have to perform double basking duties.

Basking is one of my
specialties, said the green alien.

Fry stepped forward and
rested Leelas slender hand on Zapps shoulder. Well find
the people who did this to you, he vowed. Once theyre in
jail, youll be free to visit Earth again.

I have confidence in
you, Leela, said Zapp.

Before we leave,
said Fry, his eye radiating affection, heres a little something
to remember me by.

Before Leela could open
her mouth to object, Fry yanked Zapp by the neck until their lips
were pressed together. Ewww! groaned Amy.

With Zapp and Fry
liplocked, Bender took the opportunity to stretch his arm around
Zapps back, dipping his hand into the captains pocket. Feeling
an object present, he deftly pulled it out and drew it toward him.

Hey, youre pretty
good-lookin for a chump, spoke the watch in his hand, using his
own voice.

Bloody hell?
exclaimed the robot.

That was uncalled
for, said Leela to Fry as he pulled his moist lips from Zapps
face. Dont forget that you probably had sex with him when you
were stupefied.

Maybe so, said
Fry, but that doesnt count as something he can remember me by.

Bender paced about on
the bridge, occasionally pausing to shake his fist. I am gonna
kill that Foss, he swore. Nobody turns me into a
piece of merchandise without givin me a cut of the proceeds.

Hooray! said
Zoidberg to whoever would listen. Benders wrath has been
directed to someone other than me!

I wouldnt worry
about Foss, said Amy. By the time we get to Earth, Benderll
forget the whole thing.

Two days later, Bender
continued to pace in the groove his chunky metal feet had made in the
floor. Im gonna kill Foss! he ranted. Im gonna kill
him good!

The return journey
dragged on. Leela found Fry in his quarters, lying lazily on the
bed, an expression of ecstatic obliviousness on his face. Well,
Ive given it some more thought, she said, and I still dont
have any other ideas for solving Zapps case, besides investigating
Mildred.

Frys response was a
sigh of pleasure.

You really do
like Zapp, dont you? said Leela, narrowing her eyes. I
shouldve expected something like this to happen. My hormones
always were notoriously unreliable.

No, its not about
Zapp, said Fry, smiling. Its just thatever since we ran
into the space brains, Ive had this crazy feeling, like
everythings more beautiful and smells better than before.

Interesting, said
Leela flatly.

And theres more,
Fry continued. Ive got this weird craving that wont go
away. A craving forfor anchovies.

Anchovies?
thought Leela. My body has never craved anchovies before. I know
only one other person who likes anchovies, and thats

oh, dear God

She wandered into the
sickbay and collapsed into a chair, staring emptily at Dr. Zoidberg,
too dumbfounded to speak.

May I help you?
said the lobster, who was hard at work sharpening his scalpel with
his claw.

It cant be true,
thought Leela. He doesnt even have the same equipment humans
have. Theres no way he could haveor is there?

What are you
doing here? Leela asked the curly-haired girl.

Delta and I became
friends while you were gone, replied Mildred with a carefree
smile. Thats okay, isnt it? By the way, why did you stop
returning my calls? If you had trouble with hostile aliens, then I
understand.

Leela and Fry exchanged
suspicious glances.

Whats in the
box? Mildred inquired curiously.

None of your
business, said Fry sharply.

Frinkomatic,
Mildred saw written on the side of the package. Oh, my God!
she exclaimed with what looked like delight. Is that really a
body switcher?

Weve got to go
now, said Fry. He turned abruptly and walked out of the lounge,
Leela at his heels, Mildred and Delta following close behind.

Are you gonna switch
bodies? asked Mildred as she hurried to keep up. Can I watch?

She has no idea
weve already switched, Leela whispered to Fry as the
pair stepped into Farnsworths laboratory.

Their entrance aroused
the professors head out of its slumber. Huh? Wha? he
stammered.

Fry laid the box
containing the Frinkomatic on the table next to his jar, and hastily
ripped it open. Were switching back now, professor,
he stated. I dont want to hear any arguments out of you.

You wont,
Farnsworth assured him. In reality, a week to ten days is a
relatively safe amount of time. They only say a month to avoid
lawsuits. Go ahead on.

Mildred watched,
intrigued, as Fry and Leela prepared to lay their hands on the
wheel-like device. That body switcher is my ticket to freedom,
she thought eagerly.

I know what youre
thinking, said a voice in her mind. You wont succeed.
Leave the room immediately, or Ill turn off your inhibitor chip.

Fry and Leela gazed in
wonder at each other, Fry through his two eyes, Leela through her
one. It worked! said Fry with relief. Im a guy again!

Ive got my boobs
back! Leela exulted.

And Im
still just a head, said Farnsworth glumly.

Seeing the Frink device
lying unattended on the table, Mildred lunged forward between Fry and
Leela, grabbing one of its ends with both hands. After flipping the
switch to activate it, she swiveled to face Leela and shoved the
other end of the unit into the cyclops impulsively raised hands. I warned you, said the voice sternly, but Mildred no longer
heeded it.

Fry and Delta didnt
know what was happening. Neither did Leela when she blinked a
two-eyed blink and once again saw her own face staring back at her.

Mildred glanced around
at the now rather flat-looking lab, then at the body switcher that
lay on the floor, then at her, or rather Leelas, hands. Then she
let out an exclamation of pure joy: Im free!

Leela? said Fry
quietly. Whats going on? Free from what?

Rather than answer,
Mildred shoved the young man so that he stumbled and nearly fell
over, then bolted for the lab exit, running as fast as Leelas legs
would take her.

Leela! cried Fry
as he regained his footing. Come back! The cyclops swiftly
vanished down a hallway, and was not seen again.

Fry turned to the
bewildered red-haired girl who appeared to him to be Mildred.
Leela? he said softly. Is that you?

Fry uttered
Leela, Mildreds voice replacing her own. She tried to say more,
but her words were squelched by a sudden, irresistible burst of
murderous rage.

A long metal conducting
rod with a sharp tip lay propped against a wall to her right.
Snarling viciously, no longer aware of what she was doing, she seized
the rod with both hands, then hammered it into Frys ribcage so
forcefully that the bloody tip came out through his back.